How A Boudoir Photoshoot Made Me Realize I Am Enough

Hey there! Today, I have something truly special to share with you. It’s a powerful story from one of my incredible clients who has been through so much and emerged as an inspiration for not just me, but for everyone who hears her tale. Now, I gotta keep her identity under wraps, which is why you’ll see some of my own photos in this blogpost. But trust me, it’s the message that counts! I feel so honored and proud to have done her boudoir photoshoot in Paris!

I cannot emphasize enough how strongly I recommend reading this testimonial, even if it may be longer than usual. It has the potential to touch your heart, change your perspective, and perhaps even transform your day or life. Because, my dear reader, you too are enough, and it is my hope that through this story, you will come to realize the depth of your own beauty and worth.

So, are you ready to dive into this incredible journey of resilience, self-discovery, and finding the beauty within? Grab a cup of your favorite drink, get comfy, and let’s get started!

Note: In this blogpost, you’ll find an amazing testimonial from a client, whose identity remains anonymous. Instead, I’ll be sharing some of my own photos. Trust me, though, the impact of her story will shine through and touch your heart. Let’s celebrate our collective strength and embark on this transformative adventure together.

I hope you find your worth and realize that you too are enough, even if it’s not through a boudoir photoshoot. Let’s go now!

“But it’s important at least, out of respect to ourselves, to work on the process of self-acceptance and self-love, to celebrate that body that carries you around, that’s healthy and that has fought so many battles. One day you’ll look back and you’ll be thankful with it. Just don’t wait until it’s too late, start celebrating it and honoring it now.”

This was the email from Gloria that made me commit to doing a boudoir photoshoot with her in Paris, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity and her insightful words that convinced me (without pressuring me) to do it. 

If you want to know how a Boudoir Session can help heal a broken heart  CLICK HERE

Self-love is not something that comes natural to me. In fact, self-loathing is something that I’m much more familiar with. I’ve never been comfortable with the size of my body, never thought I was pretty enough, and just never felt like I was ‘enough’ in any way. In my early childhood I threw myself into my studies, thinking that if I was the perfect student then maybe these feelings would go away – and maybe it would make a parent stop drinking. When I was 12 I was told by this parent that I was “the worst mistake” that they ever made and that they wish they would’ve had an abortion. These words still haunt me to this day. But after that I was determined to be the perfect student, not to please them, but because that was the only way I saw to get out of the poor, rural town where I grew up. It worked. I received a full scholarship to college – no easy feat in the U.S.

It was then that I met a man who seemed absolutely perfect. He was smart, funny, and VERY handsome. More importantly, he made me feel confident and like all my insecurities were baseless. At first. It wasn’t long into our relationship that he began cheating on me and when confronted, he apologized profusely and promised it would never happen again. During this confrontation he also said that he just couldn’t believe someone “like her” would want him, and it made me compare the two of us. She was stereotypically pretty, with beautiful blonde hair and super skinny. Basically, she was everything I wasn’t, but everything I thought I should be.

The confidence my boyfriend had helped me gain was instantly gone, but it was something I would never admit. It wasn’t long before he cheated on me again. And again. But I couldn’t leave because I was convinced that no one else would ever want me. I was too big (despite trying every diet I heard of). I was too crazy. All in all, I was too much and not enough at the same time. I had isolated myself from my friends during this relationship and told my family very little. I felt so alone and like I had no one, and I hated myself more than I ever had before. We were three years into this emotional rollercoaster when he hit me. He had made me detest myself and feel lonely for years, but I had never been scared of him until that moment. I called my dad and he got me out of there. No judgement. No questions asked. Just unconditional love and concern for me. I was almost done with college at this point, and I had been recruited to a top University to do a PhD in Molecular Biology. Looking back, I really didn’t want to go to graduate school. I wanted a way out – again. I wanted to run away from the man that I still loved, but now feared.

Once I got to my PhD program, I was overwhelmed by feelings of incompetence. I tried to compensate by working more than everyone else. It worked. I made a place for myself and got a position in a world-renowned research lab. As I was walking back to my apartment from the lab after midnight one night, a guy approached me. I said I wasn’t interested. Afterall, I had just moved to a new city and was in a grueling research program, and, honestly, I didn’t trust myself to start dating again. He didn’t take the rejection well. I’ll spare you the details, but that night I was physically and sexually assaulted. I told only three people what had happened that night. I was embarrassed and ashamed, but I thought I could just pretend like it never happened. Once the bruises faded and the cuts healed, I smiled and I laughed just like I had before, but on the inside my mind had shattered into a thousand pieces. I couldn’t sleep and whenever I did I had nightmares that I woke up from in tears. While I was waging a battle between light and dark within myself, my dad died unexpectedly.

My mind, already shattered, broke into a thousand more pieces. During that time I got rid of every photograph and mirror in my apartment. I couldn’t stand to look at myself. I despised myself. I was completely ashamed of myself – of what had happened and that my mind had been completely consumed by darkness. A friend I had made in my PhD program saw what was happening and, by reporting to the institute, forced me into therapy. Though I resented it at the time, it was an act of courage and love on her part that I am grateful for. Until then I had thought mental health was a matter of pushing feelings aside. Struggles with mental health were a sign of weakness. I know now that nothing is further from the truth. Admitting that you need help takes strength, and there is no shame in that.

If you want to know about how transform your body image perception from negative to positive CLICK HERE

I’ve spent the last few years in therapy, learning how to accept myself for who I am, for who I’m not, and coming to terms with all the things that have happened in my life. I graduated with my PhD and got a job offer in Switzerland, where I would be working to develop cures for those born with genetic disorders. This time I didn’t look at the chance to move away as a way out of the place that had caused me so much despair, but as an opportunity to do something meaningful and to try help those who have struggled since birth. 

And that brings me to how I had the chance to meet Gloria. I was toying with the idea of doing a boudoir shoot for my 30th birthday. It was something I had wanted to do since a friend had done one years earlier, but I had been too scared to do. I wanted to wait until I dropped weight, or until I was in a healthy relationship, or any of a hundred other excuses I had made. I found some of her photos on Instagram and I felt inspired by them. I reached out and, with some encouragement on her end, spent my 30th birthday with her. Doing a boudoir shoot with Gloria was an amazing experience. I immediately felt comfortable with her. More importantly, she made me feel safe and empowered.

After seeing the photos that she took, I felt relieved. I had been terrified that seeing boudoir photos of me would make me hate my body even more. However, for the very first time, I thought that I was beautiful.

People have told me this my entire life, but I’ve never believed it – something I think a lot of women can relate to. But during that reveal session, I finally saw it too.

Reflecting on my journey, I’ve often viewed myself as someone who is broken, damaged beyond repair. Yet it’s all the damage and all the heartbreak that I’ve had that has made me who I am – a women who has defeated the odds because, even at my lowest, I refused to give up. Just as Gloria said in that email that gave me the courage to commit to a boudoir shoot:

My body and my mind have fought so many battles. It’s about time to stop wishing that I was something else and start celebrating what I am, because I am enough.  

If you want to live a unique and premium Boudoir experience in Paris, you can contact me by CLICKING HERE

And if you want to get in touch through social media, here is my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paris.boudoir/